One of the most romantic stories in my life turned sour.

I first met Scott while I dated Anthony. I had gone to some metal show at a local music venue which at the time was called Oasis 160. I remember standing in the crowd with my friend Andy. I looked beside me and I instantly had a physical reaction. I remember putting my hand to my chest in awe. He was the man of my dreams. He looked like Davey Havok and Robert Smith in a 19 year olds body. I could feel him looking at me throughout the show. I remember he was with a blond haired lady which confused me. I made it quite noticeable that I was going to the bathroom. I didn’t have to go, I just wanted to see if he would follow me plus, it was a good cover considering Anthony and Andy were best friends. Scott did follow me, infact, he brought me to a corner of the venue where I had the most passionate make out session in my young life. I don’t remember us talking very much as we were both shy. We just looked into each others eyes and kissed. It felt natural and it felt sincere.

Probably a good hour went by and my mom came to pick me up. I didn’t remember his name or where he lived. I disappeared on him without a goodbye. I had begun to feel guilty about Anthony and was worried I would get caught.

A few months had passed and Anthony and I had broken up.(I had caught him cheating) Myspace was a huge thing back then so it was easy to find people and make connections. I started chatting it up with this guy who was exactly my type. We messaged each other everyday and it eventually turned into phone calls. We couldn’t figure out how we became friends on Myspace but we were happy that it happened. One particular night, we were visiting and he was asking me about the neighborhood that I lived in and the last show I went to. I told him it was at Oasis 160  a few months back. There was a moment of silence on the phone and he preceded to tell me that he was at the same venue around the same time. He then told me the story about a girl who he met there and couldn’t stop thinking about. It clicked for the both of us, I was that girl…he was that guy. I remember being so excited to find him again. We instantly made plans to meet.

Our first time meeting was in my mind magical. He came to my house and my mom let him in. I didn’t prepare her for what was on the other side of the door. Although he was kind and sweet, Scott had the look of a new wave, gothic punk. He had jet black hair that matched his eyeliner. He wore florescent eye shadow and at times black or red lipstick. He had his septum, nose, lip and brow pierced. His ears were gauged and his eyebrows were drawn on as he would shave them. He wore more jewelry and makeup than myself. He was my idea of perfection. My mother reluctantly let me go with him but before hand she interrogated me with millions of questions that I would respond to in lies. the truth is, I didn’t know him that well. we had no friends in common and I could have been in danger (being a teenager leads you to believe that you are unstoppable and nothing bad could ever happen). Scott and I had gone to visit my girlfriend Nicole and he had brought along a friend to keep us company. looking back I feel bad for the friends. They had to pretty much watch us make out and dry hump all day. I told him I loved him that day and he didn’t respond right away, but I knew he did. I had  pretty early curfew so after our day of just driving around and grabbing food I got dropped off. we said our good byes and I told him to call me when he got home. He did and that started our epic love affair.

I don’t think I have loved anyone as much as I loved him. I don’t know if I could to be honest. He was an unselfish love. a love that allowed me to grow and experiment sexually. He was the first of many firsts in my life. He spoiled me rotten with gifts and jewelry. He took me on countless dates and accompanied me to all my high school dances when he himself was a college student. He was my best friend.

So many memories that I look back on and laugh. we were so desperate to be with each other we would drive to abandon parking lots, or go to parks, or fields, or plan it out perfect so no one was home at his moms house. I remember the abandon parking lot in my moms minivan. we went to the back seat and we had fucked for at least an hour before the police knocked on the passenger side window. I remember him taking me to homecoming and pulling over on the side of the street so we could go to the park and fuck on the picnic table. I remember his mom leaving the house for an all day excursion. He had took the mattress off of his loud bed frame and we fucked every single way possible for a record time of 4 hours. I was so swollen that it hurt to walk.  I think the worst one was when Scott and I went to a show with his dad in Milwaukee. on the way home we sat in the very back of his SUV where I unzipped his pants and started to suck him off while he played with me from behind. we started to discreetly fuck. he held my mouth shut so my moans were muffled. I don’t think there wasn’t a day that we were with each other that we didn’t have sex. If I could find a man like that nowadays, I would be happy. Someone spontaneous and has no boundaries. I was spoiled with him. in every way possible.

Scott was a 4 year long process of being together and breaking up. I have regrets of the separation, but I also know that if it didn’t end, I would have been married and probably have had children by now. I would have missed out on my schooling, friends and experiences I have had so far. He is in a serious relationship right now that started after our last breakup. I believe 6 years ago and he hasn’t popped the question to her. I always wonder if I have anything to do with his lack of full commitment to this girl. I know him and I had many discussions about marriage and kids. He had given me a promise ring as well. I had also noticed that all of his girlfriends in someway or another physically resemble me. I wonder at times, if I moved back home and he knew, if he would come looking for me. He always looked me when I came home for the holidays. If he did look for me and find me, would I finally be ready to settle down with him? I haven’t talked to him in 4 years, but he is someone who is still on my mind and I don’t know if our story is over yet. after all, we have had the epic “how we met” story. Maybe one day he will be my happy ending. until then, I have a lot of other stories to tell you. including one really nasty one of Scott screwing me over.


Until then 🙂





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